The basic rules of social engagement have not changed. This, despite the post-pandemic movement towards inclusiveness. Because, still, old-school values have prevailed and should. And that does not mean starting to chew with an open mouth full of food is okay. It does, however, mean that opening a car door for a woman or stepping aside so that she can walk through first, likely remains good social conduct, no matter any measure of inclusivity.
This, because irrespective of power dynamics and all-sorts, some behaviours or aspects of good manners signal respect in ways that few other actions ever could.
Life’s three key phrases
Please, Thank You, You are Welcome, or It’s a Pleasure are the three sentiments that are life’s non-negotiables. In many ways, it regulates the transactional nature of our everyday engagements with, well, almost anyone. Now, if you pay it more than just lip service and actually mean it when saying it, it could mean a whole lot more. It’s an acknowledgement of effort, and no amount of emojis could ever replace the power of plain and simple language and tonality.
On the clock
Do not be late. If cleanliness is close to godliness, then punctuality is its first cousin. Being on time is simply respecting someone else’s time. Be late, even if it’s just a dinner with friends, is disrespectful no matter which way you look at it. Dragging the clock along your own time zone communicates disinterest, a lack of care and disorganisation. There is no such thing as fashionably late. There’s just, late.
Introductions matter
Don’t ever make someone feel invisible or awkward. Introduce people to one another and facilitate strangers. This counts whether you are at a work event, in an office environment or even at a braai. It sets the tone for inclusion and removes any doubt over anyone’s presence, somewhere and anywhere. Also, it’s simply good manners.
Don’t WhatsApp an apology
Do not hide behind a text message or an email to apologise to someone. Buck up and do it in person; it would mean something, then. A direct apology will create conversation, it removes distance and shows someone else that your relationship with them matters enough that you care enough to say sorry, face to face.
Clobber appropriateness
You would not go to a job interview in your pyjamas. The same counts for meetings, engagements and occasions. No matter hybrid working or graft from home. When you meet the boss, dress in a manner that befits the respect of their office. When you engage with someone else on the food chain, no matter where they are placed on the corporate ladder, you should continue the theme. Dressing appropriately shows that you also respect the interaction across all levels and that you are not dismissive of same.
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Use both legs
That’s right, Stand up when someone enters the room and you greet them. It shows the other person that you are, in fact, there for them, to engage with them. It’s a simple act of respect that also demands eye contact from the get-go and creates presence, your presence and the acknowledgement of the other party’s importance in the room.
Ladies are still first
But so too, this rule could count for anyone you’d like to consider. Seniors, leaders and, of course, women. It’s perhaps a term that is no longer politically correct or in the woke lexicon, but it’s never been a derogatory turn of phrase. Instead, it is a respectful and considerate act. Opening the car door, allowing someone else entry through a doorway first, offering your seat on the bus or just holding open a door. It’s got nothing to do with fragility or social hierarchy, just good, simple, good old-fashioned manners.
Perhaps the woke term for these values should be “functional considerations” because goodness help society if these small but mindful behaviours disappear in the name of respect and inclusivity, because frankly, discarding them would create the opposite.
