HEARING a knock on the front door, James McLeod had no idea of the horror that was about to unfold.
The father of four had already endured years of hell, battling to see his children after his mentally ill wife had falsely accused him of the most heinous of crimes. Now, his life was about to become a living nightmare.
Charmaine McLeod suffered from schizophrenia but was given custody of her four children[/caption]
It was the police, with the earth-shattering news that there had been a car crash involving his wife Charmaine – who had been suffering from schizophrenia – and their children, Aaleyn, six, Matilda, five, Wyatt, four, and two-year-old Zaidok.
There were no survivors.
“I knew it wasn’t an accident,” James, 45, from Queensland, Australia, says of the head-on collision that robbed him of his children on 27 May, 2019.
“Choking back tears, I told the officers how I had bloody well warned them that she would do this.”
In fact, James claims he had repeatedly tried to warn authorities about his wife before the incident.
“I loved being a dad – it was my dream.
“I think of [Charmaine’s] countless suicide attempts, the overdoses, lies, my warnings to police and social workers…
“And I wonder how, despite all this, despite Charmaine being so sick she once thought she had a giraffe in the car, I had to prove I was the fit parent,” he says.
James and Charmaine had met 12 years earlier, in 2002. They were friends for a while before becoming romantically involved, and he soon became aware that she was “troubled“.
He says: “Charmaine was a strong independent woman. I liked that, though she could be very controlling.
“She confided she’d been abused as a child and raped twice as an adult and told me the police hadn’t done anything.
“After what she’d been through, I wasn’t surprised to learn she’d been diagnosed with depression, eating disorders and borderline personality disorder.”
While James says he was understanding, Charmaine’s mental health issues put a strain on their relationship.
“She was volatile and her behaviour was unpredictable,” James says.
“Unfortunately, Charmaine sometimes skipped medication or she took too much and overdosed accidently, often deliberately too.
“That was usually when she didn’t get her own way with me, friends, family nurses and doctors, and she was frequently admitted to psychiatric wards.”
Despite their problems, the pair married in 2008, and welcomed their eldest child Aaleyn in August 2012.
WHAT IS SCHIZOPHRENIA?
Doctors often describe the mental illness as a type of psychosis – which is sometimes triggered by drug abuse or stress.
Psychosis causes people to perceive or interpret things differently from those around them, which can involve hallucinations and “hearing voices”.
It can also include the sufferer having delusions, which is when they have a strong belief that isn’t shared by others.
Often this can believing that someone is conspiring to harm them.
There are also many myths surrounding the symptoms of schizophrenia.
The most common is that schizophrenia causes a ‘split personality’ which is, in fact, to do with a completely separate condition called Dissociative Identity Disorder.
While some think that schizophrenia causes violent behaviour – which is actually a result of drug or alcohol abuse.
Their daughter Matilda arrived the following July and then 13 months later in August 2014, Wyatt was born.
They welcomed their youngest Zaidok in October 2016.
“By then, I’d quit my warehouse job to care for Charmaine and the kids,” James says.
“Being a dad was the one thing in life I was really good at and I loved it.”
But over time, Charmaine’s mental health worsened.
James recalls: “She reckoned the Devil was telling her to kill herself and animals were talking to her.
“Once, she thought there was a giraffe in her car.”
Eventually, McLeod was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and she and James split shortly afterwards.
“After she took two overdoses in the space of two weeks in front of Aaleyn, I decided the kids could no longer be around this,” James says.
“Charmaine moved into the flat below mine and I kept the kids.”
On January 4th, 2018, after the six of them had spent the morning together as a family, the police turned up at James’ door.
“Charmaine said I’d raped her the previous year and abused one of the kids,” James says.
“I told them Charmaine’s history and asked why we would have spent the morning together if that was the case.
“The accusations were investigated and dismissed.
“I was sad rather than angry and just reminded myself that she was unwell.”
Choking back tears I told the officers how I had bloody well warned them that she would do this
James McLeod
Charmaine eventually moved into a larger place with her sister so that the children could stay over.
One day, James went to collect Aaleyn from school when he was told by the head teacher that he wasn’t allowed to be there.
“I was puzzled so I drove to Charmaine’s,” he says.
“She told me that I would go to jail if I was caught there and then rang the police.
“When they arrived, they said she had a court order to keep me away.
“She’d used the court to steal our children.”
While waiting for a hearing to contest the order, James got to see the children two hours every fortnight in a visit supervised by social workers.
James says: “The kids would often ask when they were coming home, and I couldn’t give them an answer.
“Charmaine was playing dirty, so I recorded conversations.
“I couldn’t afford a lawyer for the hearing so subpoenaed her medical records myself but devastatingly, the judge continued the order without reading the records.
“I launched a Family Court battle for full custody.”
In July 2018, McLeod told police and child safety that James raped and abused her and molested two of the kids.
She also claimed James had threatened to kill her during an access visit but he was able to disprove this with the recordings he had of the visits.
“Again, her accusations were investigated and came to nothing,” James says.
“In December that year, she posted on Facebook that I’d raped her and two of our children were from rape.
“Then, in January 2019, she told police I’d raped her throughout our relationship, and I was investigated again.
“Charmaine’s own sister told them she didn’t think I’d raped her.
“Those rapes she’d mentioned at the start of our relationship turned out to be false allegations too.
“And, in over 16 visits to hospital during 2017 and 2018, Charmaine never once mentioned abuse of her or the kids. Once more, I was cleared.
“Because Charmaine’s was blatantly lying to get the kids, I hoped I’d eventually win custody.”
But he was also worried about the potential repercussions.
“Worried she’d harm our children, I warned police, psychiatrists and social workers repeatedly.
“I told them that she was a danger to our kids.”
Meanwhile, James continued to see them as much as he was allowed.
“In May 2019, during my access visit, Zaidok said, “I love you, Daddy.”
“It was his first real sentence.
“During the visits, the girls kept asking when they could come home.”
Just a few weeks later, however, the police arrived at James’ home – and told him about the accident.
A few hours later, officers confirmed that they were all gone. Aaleyn had been thrown from the car and died shortly afterwards, while Matilda, Wyatt, Zaidok and Charmaine had suffered catastrophic injuries and were severely burned.
Where to seek grief support
Need professional help with grief?
- Child Bereavement UK Childbereavementuk.org
- Cruse Bereavement Cruse.org.uk
- Relate Relate.org.uk
- The Good Grief Trust Thegoodgrieftrust.org
- You can also always speak to your GP if you’re struggling.
You’re Not Alone
Check out these books, podcasts and apps that all expertly navigate grief…
- Griefcast: Cariad Lloyd interviews comedians on this award-winning podcast.
- The Madness Of Grief by Rev Richard Coles (£9.99, W&N): The Strictly fave writes movingly on losing his husband David to alcoholism.
- Terrible, Thanks For Asking: Podcast host Nora McInerny encourages non-celebs to share how they’re really feeling.
- Good Mourning by Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn (£14.99, Murdoch Books): A guide for people who’ve suffered sudden loss, like the authors who both lost their mums.
- Grief Works: Download this for daily meditations and expert tips.
- How To Grieve Like A Champ by Lianna Champ (£3.99, Red Door Press): A book for improving your relationship with death.
“I don’t know what I would have done if my mum Carol hadn’t moved in to help me cope,” James says.
“People worldwide sent condolences but I was also the target of hate.
“Trolls blamed me, and my name was mentioned on domestic violence forums with people claiming I had driven Charmaine to it.
“Before the funeral in June 2019, I sat in the church with four little white coffins and sobbed my heart out.
“I had them cremated and kept their ashes.”
A police investigation confirmed McLeod had deliberately caused the crash by driving head-on into a lorry.
There was an inquest and findings were released last year, with coroner deeming it “suicide and filicide”.
“The day Charmaine murdered our children, she learned social workers were reporting my access visits very differently to her,” James says.
I’d barely seen my kids in two years and been accused of evil crimes, but I’d never once felt pushed to harm them
James McLeod
“Her lawyer had emailed to say, ‘From staff observations it could appear you are being obstructive in facilitating the father’s time with the children when the observations are that the children are happy to see him each visit displaying no fear.’
“The lawyer added, ‘The children have also been noted to say that they want to either live with dad again or that they want him to live next door to them. The children have also remarked to staff that ‘mummy won’t love us if we like daddy.’”
Hours after the email was sent, McLeod drove into the lorry.
“Charmaine knew her lies had failed and took revenge,” James says.
“She left a suicide note in her purse which was found at the scene with a message which read, ‘To emergency, I’m sorry. Yes. Intentional.’
“She repeated her claims against me, adding she “couldn’t cope with custody shit any longer,” and ‘this is what pushes one to the brink of murder/suicide”.
“I’d barely seen my kids in two years and been accused of evil crimes, but I’d never once felt pushed to harm them.”
Coroner Kellie O’Callaghan said McLeod’s mental health was so complex, no one could have predicted what she’d do.
“But I had repeatedly,” James says.
“The coroner found the allegations against me were unsubstantiated and investigations were appropriate.
“Police notes showed they thought Charmaine made false allegations and coached the kids.
“She weaponised the system against me.
“Charmaine murdered our beautiful children, but in my opinion the system itself and the Family Court, which pits parents against each other, share the blame.”
“The kids were all I lived for,” he added. “Now I’ve got nothing.”
James feels that he was let down by those who allowed McLeod to take custody[/caption]
He repeatedly warned authorities about the state of his wife’s mental health[/caption]
