SITTING in the corner of a high-society sex party, his face partly lit by the soft glow of a lamp, was a man drinking whiskey.
Having recently arrived at this racy shindig in Venice, at first I didn’t spot anything particularly unusual – aside from a few couples nearby getting swiftly down to business – but what he told me soon after blew my mind.
One reader’s candid confession has left him feeling ‘dirty’[/caption]
Sun Sexpert Georgie Culley came across a similar scenario at this Venice sex party[/caption]
One of those couples standing just a few yards away was a stranger getting it on with this man’s wife.
This was their way of living out their fantasies. His, in particular, was watching his beloved have sex with well-endowed men in front of him, while belittling his own manhood.
It was an eye-opening moment. Up until then, I hadn’t realised this was even a fantasy – but it’s actually quite common. I’ve seen plenty of couples explore it at various sex soirées.
I was reminded of this recently when I received a letter from a reader desperate to act out the same fantasy with his wife, who is firmly against it.
I’m The Sun’s Sexpert and in my no-holds-barred series this week, I’ll show him how he can explore this fantasy (with a bit of creativity), without ever crossing his wife’s boundaries…
Q. I want to watch my wife sleep with another man, but she is completely against it.
We’ve been together for ten years, and this has always been a fantasy of mine. Ideally, I’d love for us to go to a sex party or find someone like-minded online to help bring this fantasy to life.
It took me a long time to open up to her about it, but when I finally did, she became very upset and started crying.
She asked me how I could love her if I wanted her to sleep with someone else. She was so disgusted, she made me feel like a dirty pervert.
I can see her point of view, but I’m very bored with our sex life. Should I keep bringing it up?
Georgie says: Sometimes fantasies are just that – fantasies – and often they’re best kept in your imagination.
The fantasy you’re describing is known as cuckolding, and believe it or not, it’s surprisingly common.
Plenty of people find the idea exciting, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for every couple.
The crucial thing here is that your wife has made her feelings very clear. Her emotional reaction is a pretty firm no, and pushing her on it is likely to damage your trust and intimacy rather than bring you closer.
Respecting her boundaries is essential – fantasies only work when everyone involved is fully consenting and enthusiastic.
A whopping 45 per cent of men have fantasised about their partners being intimate with others[/caption]
That doesn’t mean your sex life has to stay boring, though. There are so many ways to inject excitement and passion back into the bedroom without inviting a third person in.
Think of this as an opportunity to get creative and rediscover what turns you both on.
If you approach this with curiosity and care, you may find your sex life becomes more thrilling than ever – just in a way that feels safe and exciting for both of you. I’ll show you how…
Swap sex bucket lists
If you and your wife find it hard to open up, a fun way to start is by creating a sex bucket list and sharing it with each other.
Write down everything you’d like to try and use a simple traffic-light system to indicate your interest: green for “absolutely, let’s go,” amber for “not sure, babes,” and red for “not in this lifetime.”
Explore power play
Men who enjoy the cuckolding fantasy often get a thrill from power play, as it can overlap with BDSM.
For some, it’s tied to feelings of humiliation – which crosses into the world of dominance and submission.
In this dynamic, the “cuck” takes on a submissive role while their partner – and sometimes the third person – take control.
If your partner isn’t open to bringing someone else into the bedroom, ask if she’d be willing to explore other power-play scenarios that don’t involve a third party.
Something as simple as tying you up and leaving you at her mercy could be an exciting way to explore this type of play.
Share erotic stories
Georgie says dressing up and creating ‘just met sex’ can spice things up[/caption]
Read or write your own short erotic stories about different fantasies and share them with each other.
Not only is this a fun and sexy bonding game, but it’s also likely to make you both laugh – which is completely normal and fine.
Couples don’t have to take everything seriously, it’s perfectly okay to have a giggle along the way.
Try out new toys
In long-term relationships, it’s easy to get bored if you’re always doing the same things between the sheets. The key is to spice things up and introduce new thrills.
There’s a huge range of sex toys for both women and men on the market, and since your fantasy involves a ‘third party’, you could try a large phallic-shaped toy, like the iconic Rampant Rabbit, and have her use it while you watch.
This way, you can recreate the cuckolding scenario without involving a real person.
Create a fantasy date night
Breaking out of routine and taking on a new persona is a fantastic way to reignite excitement.
Dress up in something super sexy, meet each other in a bar as strangers, flirt, and take each other home for “just met” sex.
It gives the illusion of someone new without the risk of real infidelity.
Talk to a sex therapist
If the urge feels overwhelming or is affecting your relationship, a sex therapist can help you explore why it excites you and find healthier ways to express it.
You can go together or on your own – either way, it can give valuable insight into your sex life and your relationship.
