DEAR DEIDRE: FAT jabs have put a rocket up my sex life and I’ve been enjoying more attention than I’ve had in years.
I’ve lost four stone, look younger, feel far more confident and my ex who left me because ‘I’d let myself go’ has started flirting with me again.
But there is one side effect that no one is talking about and the last man I had sex with admitted it’s a total turn off.
I’ve been single for two years and when my husband left me for a woman who looked like I used to it was a real wake-up call.
I’m only 33, yet no one looked up at me when I spoke to them, the admiring glances I’d enjoyed as a younger woman had gone.
After nine years of marriage, two children and plenty of miscarriages, I felt exhausted. My husband stopped wanting sex with me and we barely spoke.
Looking back I should have seen the direction we were heading in because the next stop was discovering his affair with a woman from his circuits class.
The detail, that she was the same age as me but much slimmer and fitter, was not lost on me.
It was devastating but I vowed to get myself back on form. I would not let myself go again.
So I was delighted when the fat jabs started to work their magic and the pounds started dropping off.
Within three months, I needed new clothes because my old wardrobe looked like I was wearing tents.
Six months on, and I was no longer relegated to the ‘fat friend’ in the corner on nights out. Instead men made a B-line for me.
Over the last year I’ve had several flings, I’m not looking for anything serious as yet.
My children, nine and seven, have been through enough change so I don’t want to introduce anyone to them for a while.
I do like the guy I’ve recently met, he’s fun, hard working and treats me well. But last week we were giving each other oral pleasure and he went limp.
I tried everything to revive his erection, massage, more oral, we watched porn together but nothing made a difference.
After a good hour I gave up and he admitted my vagina looked ‘deflated’. He’d found it ‘distracting’.
I knew the fat jab causes muscle and fat loss but never thought it would affect me down below.
Thinking about it, I had been feeling drier down below and my labia had felt smaller when I was showering but I’ve been so busy I hadn’t had time to really dwell on it.
After he left I looked, using a mirror, and saw exactly what he meant – I looked ‘withered’.
After researching the issue, I have found other women who have complained about sex becoming uncomfortable because they have lost definition down there and other women complaining they looked old and saggy.
Why isn’t anyone talking about this? And more importantly what can I do about this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve done so well to pick yourself back up after the shock of your ex-husband’s affair and should feel very proud of yourself.
I’m sorry that you’ve been experiencing these side effects from using GLP-1 medications, otherwise known as fat jabs.
And as your research confirmed, you are not alone because “Ozempic vagina” is a thing.
A number of women have reported cosmetic issues where the vulva and labia look deflated due to fat loss from rapid weight loss, others experience vaginal dryness and some complain of weaker pelvic muscles.
It’s important to note this is not a medical side effect of Ozempic itself.
Talk to your doctor about vaginal lubricants, and topical oestrogen gels which should help with the dryness.
Some women have reverted to surgical and non surgical treatments to rejuvenate their appearance below – a process dubbed ‘vaginal puffing’ but it’s very expensive.
So if you are interested make sure you do plenty of research and make sure any surgeon is BAAPS accredited.
Also you may find that once your weight settles and any moisturisers take effect that you don’t want to go down this invasive and expensive route.
You haven’t mentioned a lack of pelvic floor tone but for anyone who is concerned about this issue, it’s worth contacting your GP and asking for a referral to their women’s health physiotherapist who can advise on exercises and treatments to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.
Dear Deidre’s Weight Worries
From pre-wedding insecurities to hurtful family remarks and lifelong self-esteem struggles, weight-related issues frequently flood Deidre’s inbox.
One bride-to-be is plagued by anxiety about walking down the aisle as she feels overweight.
Another young woman feels humiliated after her father publicly joked about her weight at a family gathering.
And, in another case, a woman whose childhood was marked by relentless bullying and parental criticism admits that even cosmetic treatments and diets haven’t healed her deep-seated insecurities.
SIDE EFFECTS OF WEIGHT-LOSS JABS: MEN VS WOMEN
Weight loss Medications affect people differently. While many side effects are shared, some can be more pronounced depending on sex.
In Women
- Menstrual cycle changes – irregular periods or heavier/lighter flow.
- Fertility impact – some research suggests possible effects on ovulation; more studies are needed.
- Physical comfort – GI upset, bloating, or rapid weight loss can temporarily reduce sexual satisfaction or comfort.
- Libido changes – reduced appetite, fatigue, or hormonal fluctuations can lower sexual interest in some cases.
- Hair thinning – rapid weight loss and hormonal shifts can trigger temporary shedding.
- Nausea & vomiting – reported at slightly higher rates in women.
- PCOS links – women with PCOS may see symptom changes (sometimes improvement, occasionally worsening).
In Men
- Lower testosterone – significant weight loss can reduce levels, affecting energy, mood and libido.
- Muscle loss – lean muscle mass may drop alongside fat, sometimes more noticeable in men.
- Erectile changes – a small number of men report reduced sex drive or erectile difficulties.
- Digestive issues – constipation and bloating are more commonly flagged by male patients.
- Mood swings – some studies suggest men are more likely to report irritability during early treatment.
Both sexes commonly experience nausea, stomach upset, headaches, and fatigue. These effects usually ease after the first few weeks but should always be monitored by a doctor.
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Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women’s issues and general features.
Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week.
Sally took over as The Sun’s Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago.
The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes:
Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books.
Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies.
Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues.
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