BEING robbed at knifepoint, blacking out and waking up covered in her own sick were just some of the dangerous situations Sandra Parker found herself in as she battled her secret addiction.
While the 56-year-old, earning a six-figure salary and running marathons, appeared to be living the dream, in reality, she was battling a heavy alcohol habit that was slowly getting out of control.
Sandra Parker was on a six-figure salary and looked successful, but had a heavy drinking habit[/caption]
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, Sandra, who is from Scotland but now lives in London, recalls how she first started properly drinking when she went to university aged 17.
Sandra, who at the height of her drinking was forking out around £6k a year on alcohol and spent over £100k on booze in 20 years, says: “It was just before the start of the ‘ladette’ culture and it was certainly the case that it was ‘cool’ to drink as much as guys.”
“I had a very good social life at uni and alcohol really was front and centre of every single thing I joined in Freshers Week – it really felt that it was a huge part of uni life.”
Sandra, who is now a certified alcohol coach and founder of Just the Tonic coaching, goes on to explain that she didn’t like the taste of alcohol, so her go-to drink as a student was cider and blackcurrant, which she hoped would disguise the taste.
But while she never planned to go out and “get drunk,” it often ended that way, with Sandra sometimes drinking the equivalent of 1-2 bottles of wine.
A guy came past and threatened to attack me with a knife and stole my purse. If I hadn’t had a few drinks I’d never have sat there…that’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me
Sandra Parker
“I’m 5ft 54 and about 8st so I’m not a big person,” she explains. “Sometimes I’d get really drunk and would be sick, but I had a friend who lived near the uni and she’d walk me home.
“The next day I’d feel awful, wouldn’t remember parts of the night and was always worried about what had happened and what I’d said. I started having anxiety, and that would last for ages.”
She continues: “There was one time when I was a student, I didn’t make it to the toilet and was sick in the bar – it was really embarrassing. I went back the next day and apologised.”
Sandra started working in Glasgow and qualified as a chartered accountant before moving to London in her early 20s, where she then started working for an investment bank in Canary Wharf.
She admits: “I guess because everyone lived far away people would go out and drink after work quite a lot. When I moved to London, it was a work-hard, play-hard culture.”
But as her career went from strength to strength and Sandra found herself with regular promotions and a rather impressive six-figure salary, she swapped her usual tipple for something she considered to be more “sophisticated.”
“If I were in a wine bar in Canary Wharf, I’d drink wine, prosecco or vodka and diet Coke, but if I was out with my friends, I’d opt for an alcopop called Hooch,” she says.
THE WAKE-UP CALL
Sandra says she thought a life without alcohol was boring[/caption]
The certified alcohol coach says the most terrifying moment of all was when she found her life in danger[/caption]
Sandra would suffer from blackouts and wake up covered in her own sick[/caption]
Still, the side effects of the hangovers continued.
She says: “There was another time in my early 20s when I’d moved to London and was getting the overnight sleeper back to Glasgow.
“I woke up the next day and had been sick all over myself – that was horrendous.
“Then there was a time in my 30s when I’d got home with only one shoe – it made me wonder what sort of state I must’ve been in to get that drunk.”
But the most terrifying moment of all was when Sandra found her life in danger.
She recalls: “I was on holiday in my thirties and I’d been drinking and I was sitting on the beach. A guy came past and threatened to attack me with a knife and stole my purse.
“If I hadn’t had a few drinks, I’d never have sat there, but it was because I felt really relaxed from the effects of the alcohol – that’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
But while she was heavily drinking behind the scenes, people would never have known.
Sandra continued healthy eating and even signed up to run the London marathon when she was 30.
She explains: “I turned a blind eye to alcohol. I remember hearing other people say they were giving up drinking six weeks before the marathon and thinking how extreme, unnecessary and ridiculous that was.
If Sandra was out with friends, she would drink an alcopop called Hooch[/caption]
When she hit peri-menopause in her late 40s, Sandra’s anxiety started getting worse[/caption]
“Now I can see how alcohol was a drug that had such a grip over me – it didn’t matter what I’d done or was planning on doing, I just kept on drinking.
“I’d go on my long run on a Sunday morning, and I’d mostly be hungover and would still do it.
“Even the night before the marathon, I had two drinks, and I got drunk straight after.
“To me, that was me proving to myself that I was healthy and that I knew how to enjoy myself. I felt like I had the best of both worlds.”
In her thirties, Sandra started working with an Australian guy who really got her into wine.
Now I can see how alcohol was a drug that had such a grip over me
Sandra Parker
She says: “He had a friend who would take us to all these wine tasting events in London, and I did the introductory course at The Wine and Spirit Education Trust.
“I went wine tasting in France and Sonoma Valley in California, and all this time I was thinking I was this wine connoisseur, and actually it was the same drug, it just seemed more respectable because it was ‘good quality’ wine.”
Sandra continues: “The thought of not drinking was horrifying. I always tried to drink less, but I never ever seriously considered not drinking at all – never.
“I didn’t want to give up drinking – I thought people who didn’t drink were really miserable and thought, what’s the point of going on holiday or out at the weekend if you don’t drink?”
“I remember even thinking if I was told by a doctor not to drink, I think I would’ve ignored it. I was so convinced a life without alcohol wouldn’t be very fun.”
THE TURNING POINT
But when she hit peri-menopause in her late 40s, Sandra noticed her anxiety had started getting worse.
She recalls: “I was just feeling quite on edge, and when I had a hangover, I noticed my anxiety got a lot worse and I realised this was a big problem.
“I was on holiday in Myanmar on a boat with this hangover, and something just snapped. I promised myself I’d never get drunk or have a hangover again.
“It took me a while to find out how to change, but I made a decision then that I was going to do it properly.”
What to do if you think are an alcoholic
IF you’re struggling with alcohol addiction, the most important thing is to recognise the problem and seek support – You don’t have to face it alone.
Seek Professional Help
- GP or Doctor – A medical professional can assess your situation and provide advice on treatment options.
- Therapists or Counsellors – Talking to an addiction specialist can help address underlying causes and develop coping strategies.
- Rehab or Detox Programmes – If physical dependence is severe, medically supervised detox may be necessary.
Consider Support Groups
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – A well-known 12-step programme that provides peer support.
- SMART Recovery – A science-based alternative to AA, focusing on self-empowerment.
- Local Support Groups – Many communities have groups tailored to different needs.
Due to her anxiety, Sandra had been working with a life coach who, along with the help of a Facebook course she saw online, helped her take a break and moderate her alcohol intake.
She adds: “It was a month at first, then I extended that to 100 days and then six months…and at this point I remember thinking I didn’t want to drink.”
During Covid, Sandra, who now hasn’t touched a drop of booze for seven years, saw a huge increase in the number of people consuming alcohol and decided that she wanted to do something to help.
While it was only going to be a side hobby, around the same time, her company offered employers the opportunity to take redundancy, which she accepted.
So Sandra trained to become a certified alcohol coach and in 2019, went on to set up Just the Tonic Coaching, which sees her help people from all different age ranges.
“I do a combination of groups and one-to-ones,” she explains.
“I specialise in helping people who were similar to myself – people who hadn’t hit rock bottom and who hadn’t been told by other people they had to stop, but people who were high functioning and worried they had a lot to lose.”
In 2019 Sandra went on to set up Just the Tonic Coaching[/caption]
Sandra now helps people from all different age ranges[/caption]
