Times are tough in South Africa these days.
Who doesn’t stop to pick up that 50 cent coin lying on the street or think twice about returning that lost wallet you found?
While the vast majority of lottery winners don’t go public with their new fortune for fear of that long-lost dodgy great uncle knocking on your door, there will be sure signs if I hit the jackpot …
I top up with petrol without checking the price
And I even say, “Fill it up!” like a boss. No more R100 increments like I’m refuelling a lawnmower.
Load shedding? I’ve never heard of her
I bought my own power station. Eskom can borrow my electricity now.
I no longer ask for just tap water at restaurants
I ask for still, imported, bottled from a glacier that melted specifically for me.
The first thing I do is buy a house … in Cape Town … with a sea view … and no wind
Yes, I’m now that rich. It’s that kind of money.
I send a resignation letter that just says: “LOL. Good luck!”
Then I include a photo of me drinking champagne at 10:00 – on a Tuesday.
I order Uber Black. To take me to KFC.
Then order everything on the menu because I no longer fear “add-ons”.
My house has so many solar panels, people think it’s a Tesla dealership.
And yes, I bought a Tesla. Just to plug it in during Stage 6.
I donate anonymously, but still leak it to the media.
“Anonymous donor helps school build library.” – It’s me. I’m the donor. But shhh, it’s humble vibes.
I name my dog “Billionaire.”
So when I call him at the park, people know I’ve made it: “Come here, Billionaire!”
I wear Crocs in public without shame.
Because money buys comfort and confidence. (Also, they’re Balenciaga now.)
NOTE: You should always return a lost wallet!
If you came into a lot of money overnight, what’s the first thing you’d do?
Let us know by leaving a comment below, or send a WhatsApp to 060 011 021 1
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